A Kindred Spirit
by yournombrehere
Summary: Second Summer. What Lena is thinking when she firsts meets Paul after enduring Bapi's death and Kostos' marriage. Oneshot.


A/N: This is my first fanfic and is kind of like a test run for me. This story takes place during the second summer where Carmen, Porter, Paul, and Lena are at Dizzy's Grill. Let me know what you think. It's basically how Lena feels and thinks throughout. It's a oneshot right now, but if there is any positive feedback, I might try my hand at a longer story.

Disclaimer: This the standard disclaimer…yada yada… I don't own any of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books etc. and I'm not making a profit etc. etc.

A Kindred Spirit

Effie and Carmen managed to cooperate and drag me out of my room. I'm resigned to the fact that I put my heart out on the line-took one risk- and now I'm broken-hearted. Years and years of playing it safe and when I get a chance at Love, I lose.

Anyways, I know there isn't any use in resisting whatever Carmen planned, and at the moment, I just can't bring myself to care.

So, I wore a pair of drawstring flannel pants- Excellent pants for moping in comfort. And I pulled on a shirt from my closet at random- I don't care what it is. Why should I? At the moment, I can't dress like the old Lenny (pre-Kostos) or like what I like to call the helplessly-in-love Lena. I don't know what to feel after the intense sorrow and none of my clothes can accurately represent who I am _now_.

And the doorbell rings. Moments later Carmen is dragging me downstairs into a car. "So, where are we going," I ask her.

"Well…we are kind of meeting Porter and Paul at Dizzy's Grill."

"Porter, your date, Porter? And Paul…your stepbrother?" It took a moment to remember who Paul was.

This doesn't sound good. It's sounding like a double date, but I'm probably being paranoid. I think Carmen has an aversion to double dating since that experience with her mom. But still…I suspected a Ben & Jerry treatment with a girls' night and sleep over. I don't know if I can handle boys, men, whatever they are, right now or ever.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind," Carmen says with a slightly apologetic look. I suppose it won't be that bad…my life certainly can't get worse. And she's wearing the traveling pants, so that should be a good sign or at least I hope so. I wasn't going to fight her on this anyways. I don't think I have the strength to or even the will to.

At the grill, she sat me down towards the front and left me there. She came back a minute later and guided me to a booth where she sat down and I followed. And that's when it happened. Carmen or Porter-or both- may have been talking, but I wouldn't know. In front of me was who I guessed was Paul. He looked at me. I'm not conceited, but I know dozens of guys have looked at me, but Paul really _looked_ at me with an intensity I didn't know was possible. And I looked back.

And then, I wanted to gasp for air, to cry, to be held by him because I recognized who he was- a kindred spirit. Should I even go as far to say a soul mate (I'm not sure; I'm a bit conflicted)? Bapi and I were no doubt kindred spirits- proud, shy, and quiet, the list goes on and on. And I was devastated when he died because despite how intimately my best friends (and family) know me they would never know me and understand me like my Bapi did, I thought no one would. But right in front of me was Paul. No words were necessary. He and I know what we are. And when we looked at each other, there was only us. No one else existed or mattered.

And my thoughts are racing. I was a bit confused as to what this meant exactly, I hardly ever felt this comfortable with a near stranger and a male one at that. It was too early to be over any heartache, wasn't it? But why do I feel so safe and content in his presence? He leans forward and murmurs something about Carmen's luck (or lack thereof) with dating. I look down to hide the smile that's creeping onto my face, but I can't resist the temptation to look at him because it feels that I haven't smiled in a long while and I want to see the face of the man who could allow me to smile so easily. And I know I shouldn't be smiling about Carmen's misfortunes with her recent dating, but it seems that she takes more of an active interest in everyone but her date.

And we where pulled out of our little world when Carmen called my name.

"Lena, will you come with me for a second? Please?"

I'm not about to resist my friend, so I follow her to the bathroom where she starts taking of her pants.

"Lena, take the traveling pants."

I know I'm looking at her like she's just a bit crazy. "Why? It's your turn to wear them" I tell her. Sure it's always nice to wear the pants, but she probably needs them more to help with Porter. It's not like I'm on a date or looking for love, right?

"Tonight will be important for you. And you will likely need them more than I do. Wear the pants, please." She's holding them out to me. I'm rather scared and worried to take them. I have a niggling feeling about why tonight will be important, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or be presumptuous. Do I even want to risk my heart again? Am I ready, so soon after everything that has happened?

I can still wear the pants. The pants will work the magic and whatever happens will happen; the pants are likely more experienced than I am anyways. So I slip out of my flannels and reach out for the pants. I pull them on and I receive that familiar feeling that is Carmen and Bridget and Tibby. The feeling of familiarity is comforting and I forget that Carmen is even there. I leave the bathroom and walk straight to Paul and sit down.

We look into each other's eyes. And I'm safe again. He knows it and he knows me. And I know that he knows. And that's how I spent the evening.

That night in bed, I thought about him. He definitely wasn't Kostos, but that could be a good thing. Love- I was afraid of it again. After Kostos, I wasn't sure that I could trust, let alone love another guy like I did with Kostos. But maybe there was a different way to love. I felt something with Paul and I just can't dismiss it. His look conveyed so many emotions and meanings. It wasn't singularly passionate or knowing, it was so much more. Maybe he could be so much more than Kostos? I don't know, but with him, like with Kostos, I'm not so afraid. And maybe that's it. I now I risked my heart once and it was broken, but I know I won't be afraid with Paul, but can I risk it again? I think so. And that's what scares me, but I know I can't keep away from him. Not only is he Carmen's stepbrother, but I know he can understand me (and I don't know if I can resist being apart from a Kindred Spirit). And in the end, if it doesn't work out, if I'm left broken again, then my sisters will be there to pick up the pieces and they will help me through whatever happens. After that I slept. Then, I dreamt of possibilities-love, peace, happiness and maybe even Paul.

The End


End file.
